Greatest Prediction Ever

This just has to be heard to be believed.

Second at-bat, 3-1 count, fastball, home run, left-center, 2nd deck. That's just awesome.

This is now my favorite sports play prediction of all time, replacing Snoop Dogg. I wish I could find the video, but it went something like this: USC was down in the red zone and Snoop, a big USC fan, was being interviewed on camera behind the end zone the Trojans were driving toward. The interviewer asked Snoop, who coaches (or at least, coached at the time) his son's peewee football team, what play he would call next. Snoop responded with something to the effect of, "hand it off to my boy LenDale White for the touchdown and then flip the ball to Coach Snoop." On the next play, USC handed it off to LenDale White, who scored, then flipped the ball to Snoop, still standing next to the interviewer and cameraman. They immediately cut back to Snoop, who proceeded to strike the Heisman pose. It was pretty cool. But calling a guy's first career homerun down to the when (second at-bat), how (fastball on 3-1), and where (left-center, 2nd deck) is just crazy (okay, so it just missed the 2nd deck; its still incredible).

It's Been A Long Time Comin'

Bengals 23, Steelers 20.

Not going to lie, that felt good. It wasn't easy (seriously, -10 yards in the 1st quarter?), but a win's a win, especially against a division opponent and especially against Pittsburgh. I jumped out of my seat when Brian Leonard dove for the first down on 4th and 10 (as I noted on Facebook, Leonard should eat for free this week in town for that play). I let out a scream when Carson Palmer found Andre Caldwell in the end zone with 14 seconds left. And I, along with everyone else in Cincinnati, cringed in fear for a moment thinking that 14 seconds was too much time to leave on the clock. But there was no "Immaculate Deflection Part II" this week (fuckin' Brandon Stokley). Who Dey indeed.

After Sunday's game, is there any question that the offense should go no-huddle/modified hurry-up all the time? It was the only time they were able to move the ball down field and score (or at least be in position to score). Isn't the no-huddle offense what we used to win the division in 2005? Curious....

Virginia was on a bye this week. And yet, I think they still found a way to lose. I kinda hope they did; I had Bye Week (-7.5) over the Hoos.

Speaking of college football, it was proven again this weekend that the polls are completely meaningless. Ole Miss, Penn State, Cal.... no one knows anything when it comes to ranking teams this early in the season, they even admit to it, and yet they still do it. As I've said before, I don't think there should be a single poll until about halfway through the season. Crazy idea- give teams time to actually *do* something before trying to rank them. Insanity, I know.

Finished Dan Brown's new book The Lost Symbol over the weekend. Its not the worst book I've ever read, but all that means is that I've read some really bad books. Its a shameless Da Vinci Code ripoff. That's right, Dan Brown ripped off himself. The story, the pacing, the characters, the character's motivations, the twists, its almost shot-for-shot from The Da Vinci Code. And like all other Dan Brown books, it completely falls apart at the end. He clearly to put a lot time in to researching the locations he uses in his books (be it The Vatican, Paris, or, in this case, Washington, D.C.) and tying it all into a conspiracy-theory filled story, but he seems to be completely lost when it comes to wrapping it up in the end. Probably only worth reading for curiosities sake (and because everyone else in the world will be reading it).

Jacked Up

From SI.com's Hot Clicks:



I think he killed that kid.

The De-Evolution Of Dance

Proof that the good old days weren't always that good. This is physically painful to watch:



For all the crap we give disco, how is this any better?

Making It Interesting

Up by 10, less than 2 minutes to go, any fan base would think that they have the game wrapped up. Except Cincinnati's. When your team's the Bengals, the game's not over until the final whistle sounds (and even then, like on Sunday, you're still not sure). Props to Packers coach Mike McCarthy, though, for kicking the field goal on 2nd down and managing the clock instead of going for the end zone and wasting time. He needed two scores, so he took the sure points now, knowing that either way, he needed to recover the onside kick and score again. But teams never recover onside kicks, right? Yeah, right, unless they happen against the Bengals. Two 20+ yard pass plays later, and the Pack are sitting on the 10 yard line with a chance to tie the game. Thankfully, a false start ended the game (or the clock ran out, I'm still not entirely sure) and the Bengals are sitting at 1-1 with Pittsburgh coming to town next week. Will it be annother game that goes down to the final seconds? I'll take it, as long as it involves Pittsburgh losing.

And speaking of Bengals-Packers, here's a great column by Paul Daugherty from Sunday's Enquirer that recalls the 1992 meeting between these two teams. What happened in that game to make it significant? Not much. Packers starting QB Don Majkowski gets injured and is replaced by a guy named Brett Favre. Favre proceeds to fumble the ball 4 times and gets booed by the home crowd. But when down 23-17 on his own 8-yard line with just over a minute to play, he leads the Pack down the field for the game-winning touchdown. He's started every game he's played in since then (across 3 teams). The Bengals were 2-0 going into that game; afterward, they lost their next 4 and 9 of the next 11. Then they lost the next decade. Thanks, Brett. Asshole.

Virginia lost again; 0-12 is still within reach. I will say though, there were times against Southern Mississippi that the Hoos actually looked like a football team. They were even leading 34-17 midway through the 3rd quarter. But then, in a George Welsh Era-like collapse, they gave up 20 unanswered points to lose the game (I swear I could hear someone yell "Insurmountable lead!" right before it happened...). The Curse of the Pep Band lives on.

Watched some of the Emmy Awards last night (I could only take so much fawning over Jerry Jones's new stadium; so glad they lost, and not just because I had the Giants +2.5 in the pick'em pool). End result? Neil Patrick Harris is awesome. The opening number:



And the best bit of the night:



Oktoberfest was this weekend. I've said it before, but no one does a food festival like Cincinnati. Especially Oktoberfest (Munich excluded). Good food, good beer. Missed the Chicken Dance this year; it was apparently led by Homer Simpson and George Wendt. Kinda glad I missed it now.

Keep Matriculating The Ball Down The Field

Saw the first episode of what looks to be a pretty cool 5-part series on Showtime last night called Full Color Football: The History of the American Football League. As you might expect, the show chronicles the history of the AFL. This first episode covered the creation of the league and its first few years, up until the league's founder, Lamar Hunt, made the decision to move his team (the Dallas Texans) to Kansas City (becoming the Chiefs) right after they had won the AFL Championship. As a football fan, I really enjoyed this. I think the only real problem with it is that it airs on Showtime and not HBO, meaning that its not narrated by Liev Schreiber. But I'll get over it. What got me really excited this show was what they teased for the upcoming episodes, specifically about Paul Brown. They showed a clip of Bill Belichick talking about all the innovations Paul Brown brought to professional football and how, like, 80% of what he did back them, teams are still doing now. If I was disappointed by anything Hard Knocks did this season, it was that I think they missed an opportunity to really delve into the history of the Bengals and Paul Brown (the closest they got was Tank Johnson learning that Bill Walsh isn't named Donny and that he once coached in Cincinnati). Hopefully, Full Color Football will get more into just how much Paul Brown did for the game of football (and zero of just how much Mike Brown has destroyed it).

Just Call Me Brett Favre

I just couldn't stay away. There's too much stuff going on and I have too much time on my hands. So I'm back from retirement for a second time (which leaves me, what, 3 short of Mr. Favre?), and this time, I mean it. You know, that is, until I don't.

After 20 years of futility, the Bengals found a new way to lose:



Ladies and gentlemen, the longest game-winning play from scrimmage in the final minute of the fourth quarter in NFL history. I guess its fitting that the Bengals would be on the wrong side of a dubious record such as that. I mean, who knows who had the record was before Sunday, but everyone's going to remember that the Bengals have it now. Doesn't hurt that Gus Johnson was on the call. This might be a top 5 all-time "Gus Johnson loses his mind on the mic" moment, and if you're a fan of Gus Johnson (which I am), you know that's saying something.

I don't see anymore than 6 wins for the Bengals this year. Which, considering we're talking about the Bengals, isn't half bad. And its 6 more wins than I think my Virginia Cavaliers will win this year:



The ACC's bad, and Virginia's the worst team in the ACC. If this were the English Premier League, they'd be demoted to CAA (where they'd struggle against in-state rival Richmond, James Madison, and William and Mary, who's already beaten the Hoos this year). Its just pathetic. Shocking how having a marching band and making the students wear orange doesn't automatically translate into having a winning program. I know going 0-12 (or, by some miracle, 1-11) won't be cause for ditching the marching band (though we can always hope), but at the very least I hope all the students burn their "Sea of Orange" shirts and return to wearing ties and sun dresses on game day. I don't think Virginia's in the business of firing coaches mid-season, regardless of how bad it gets, so the impending winless season will be all Al Groh's to bear. Couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.

Been to a couple of local amateur MMA fights (ICF events) with PreView and Puddin' recently. Interesting, to say the least. The 7-sided octagon (which, I guess, is technically a heptagon, but that's not as fun to say as "7-sided octagon") threw me a bit at first, but the events are fun and the people watching is outstanding (both in a good way and a bad way). Quick shout out to the guys at Fight Ribbon; good people with a great product.

Apparently, Kanye West did something outrageous at the VMAs last night. My first thought? "They still hold the VMAs?" Who knew? I wasn't watching. I was busy watching Jay Cutler rack up points for the Green Bay defense by consistently hitting the open Packer defender. Good for my fantasy team. One of them, at least. What wasn't good for my fantasy teams? Orton's BS touchdown (see above), Drew Brees throwing against a high school defense, Joe Flacco sitting on my bench, and the lack of scoring by Matt Forte, Roddy White, and Donald Driver. Not a good start of the fantasy football season. But hey, I'm currently winning my baseball league!

Speaking of baseball, are the Reds still playing? Can't recall the last game where I watched more than two innings. 82-80, huh? Might be a little off on that prediction. Thank God they're in the same division as the Pirates or else there'd be a lot more last place finishes.

The new TV season is about to start up. This, plus football, is why fall is the best time of the year. Already hooked on Glee- cheesy and hokey on the outside, subversive and sardonic on the inside. Will be definitely be checking out Flash Forward (read the book, and I think the show has a chance to be better) and will probably check out V and Community. Can't wait to see how Fringe comes back from their season finale. Wondering if Heroes can come back and just be better than "suck." And there are probably a half dozen more shows (at least) that I'll be watching as well.

So much television, so little time. Its a wonder I that I ever get anything done (which is probably why I never do).