The De-Evolution Of Dance

Proof that the good old days weren't always that good. This is physically painful to watch:



For all the crap we give disco, how is this any better?

Making It Interesting

Up by 10, less than 2 minutes to go, any fan base would think that they have the game wrapped up. Except Cincinnati's. When your team's the Bengals, the game's not over until the final whistle sounds (and even then, like on Sunday, you're still not sure). Props to Packers coach Mike McCarthy, though, for kicking the field goal on 2nd down and managing the clock instead of going for the end zone and wasting time. He needed two scores, so he took the sure points now, knowing that either way, he needed to recover the onside kick and score again. But teams never recover onside kicks, right? Yeah, right, unless they happen against the Bengals. Two 20+ yard pass plays later, and the Pack are sitting on the 10 yard line with a chance to tie the game. Thankfully, a false start ended the game (or the clock ran out, I'm still not entirely sure) and the Bengals are sitting at 1-1 with Pittsburgh coming to town next week. Will it be annother game that goes down to the final seconds? I'll take it, as long as it involves Pittsburgh losing.

And speaking of Bengals-Packers, here's a great column by Paul Daugherty from Sunday's Enquirer that recalls the 1992 meeting between these two teams. What happened in that game to make it significant? Not much. Packers starting QB Don Majkowski gets injured and is replaced by a guy named Brett Favre. Favre proceeds to fumble the ball 4 times and gets booed by the home crowd. But when down 23-17 on his own 8-yard line with just over a minute to play, he leads the Pack down the field for the game-winning touchdown. He's started every game he's played in since then (across 3 teams). The Bengals were 2-0 going into that game; afterward, they lost their next 4 and 9 of the next 11. Then they lost the next decade. Thanks, Brett. Asshole.

Virginia lost again; 0-12 is still within reach. I will say though, there were times against Southern Mississippi that the Hoos actually looked like a football team. They were even leading 34-17 midway through the 3rd quarter. But then, in a George Welsh Era-like collapse, they gave up 20 unanswered points to lose the game (I swear I could hear someone yell "Insurmountable lead!" right before it happened...). The Curse of the Pep Band lives on.

Watched some of the Emmy Awards last night (I could only take so much fawning over Jerry Jones's new stadium; so glad they lost, and not just because I had the Giants +2.5 in the pick'em pool). End result? Neil Patrick Harris is awesome. The opening number:



And the best bit of the night:



Oktoberfest was this weekend. I've said it before, but no one does a food festival like Cincinnati. Especially Oktoberfest (Munich excluded). Good food, good beer. Missed the Chicken Dance this year; it was apparently led by Homer Simpson and George Wendt. Kinda glad I missed it now.

There's Something Wrong With My New Robe

Perhaps that's because its not a robe, but a Snuggie. Yes, a goddamn Snuggie. I swore I'd never buy one, so clearly that was the go-sign for my brother to get me one for my birthday. Thanks, bro (and actually, I'm kinda pissed I didn't think of it first and gotten one for him on his birthday).

As I've previously stated, I would never have purchased such an item on my own volition. There are products that are wacky but also kind of serve a purpose, and there are products that exist solely because they can; this abomination is the latter. However, since I ended up with one anyway, I feel obligated to give it a review.

What: A fucking Snuggie
Purchased: I didn't, it was a gift, so to speak
Does it work as advertised: Uh, yeah.

The question here isn't whether or not it works; of course it works, it's a blanket with sleeves in it and it works like a blanket with sleeves in it. The thing is, my other blankets- you know, the ones without sleeves- work just as well. But in the interest of equal time, I suffered through the Snuggie last night while I watched television (aside: the weekly reviews have stopped, since we're nearing the end of the television season, and I'll be doing a big recap post once all the shows have finished for the season and know whether they've been renewed for next season; I know you all really care about that). It was almost unbearable.

First off, you can't help be feel ridiculous while wearing it. Blankets aren't supposed to be something you wear. Eventhough I was alone and all the blinds were shut, I could feel the world laughing at me. This was not a pleasent feeling.

Second, this thing is waaaaay to fucking big for a regular sized (or smaller) person. I know this because it fits me (like a robe) almost perfectly. Short people (ie- everyone else, as far as I'm concerned) would have a hell of a time "using" this damned thing. The sleeves are insanely wide, in so much as they might as well be pant legs. Yeah, you can still use your hands and move your arms, but there's so much material there, it just gets in the way. So you roll up the material to free you hands, which leaves you with a unwieldy mass of material, and at that point, you might as well take your hands out of the sleeves altogether, which, of course, would defeat the whole purpose.

So anyway, as expected, I'm not impressed. Its a product that exists because someone thought of it, and not because its actually useful. That said, I am glad that I own a Snuggie now so that I can wear it a random and inappropriate times to garner a cheap laugh. But as for regular, daily use, I'll stick with blanket 1.0. No need for the so-called upgrade.

I Need To Find This Guy

Seriously. If we have masked vigilantes running around Cincinnati, I need to get downtown more often.

Glow-Hoinking Lives On!

The ongoing saga of whether or not Western Bowl will be closing has finally come to an end- Western Bowl will remain open.

This is huge news. Western Bowl will be under new ownership AND still be called Western Bowl (after all, what's the point in saving the place if you up and change the name?). From the article, it looks like the site could have become a fitness center; how much would that have sucked? Also, the Hoinke Classic is set to make its triumphant return in 2010. Perhaps this is a sign of better days to come.

Orbiting The Sun

So today, I complete another full rotation around the sun. And while I enjoy my birthday, I have a hard time getting exciting for it. Don't know why, but its just another day for me.

That said, I have a odd fascination with people with whom I share a birthday. Again, I don't know why, but it interests me. Here's an abbreviated list (courtesy of Wikipedia):

1897 - J.P. Morgan
1894 - Nikita Krushchev
1934 - Don Kirshner (produced the Monkees, among others)
1950 - L. Scott Caldwell (Rose from Lost)
1954 - Rowdy Roddy Piper
1957 - Nick Nornby (British author, Fever Pitch, High Fidelity)
1959 - Sean Bean
1961 - Boomer Esiason
1965 - William Mapother (Ethan from Lost)
1967 - Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond from Lost; clearly, today's a big day on the island)
1967 - Liz Phair
1970 - Redman
1972 - Jennifer Garner
1974 - Victoria Beckham

Who's my favorite? Its got to be a toss up between Boomer and Rowdy Roddy Piper. I mean, Boomer is Boomer (and the only Boomer, thank you very much; I'm looking at you Chris Berman and David Wells) and I'm a Bengals fan, but Roddy Piper was in They Live, which, while a terrible movie, inspired Shepard Fairey to create his OBEY line (and gave us a great fight scene was the hillariously remade by South Park). So its a tough call either way. Maybe I should avoid the choice althogether and just go with Jennifer Garner. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

A Ray Of Hope In These Tough Economic Times

The Reds have brought back $5 seats to Great American Ballpark!

This is great. Sure, its limited to the sections in the corners of the upper deck and not the "top 6 rows" like back in the day, but its better than nothing. And its a baseball game, so unless there's a giant pillar right in front of you, there really isn't a bad seat. This makes games (more) affordable for people, and getting families to the ballgame without breaking the bank is always a good thing.

A mere 4 days until Opening Day, and no, I don't count the ESPN Sunday night game; the baseball season doesn't start until the Reds play their first game (its baseball history regardless of what the television schedule says). Upcoming, an in depth look (well, not so much) at the Reds 2009 season with predictions that are most assuredly to be completely wrong.

Baseball's back (almost). Anyone want to catch a game next weekend?

Weekly TV Thoughts: 02/15 - 02/21

Another week with a lot of things to watch, especially at the end of the week, some of which won't be chronicled here (Conan O'Brien's final show on Friday, UFC 95 on Saturday). And I'll start this week off with the Academy Awards tonight (where Heath Ledger will win for Best Supporting Actor, despite my earlier prediction).

-Heroes, Monday: Man, this episode sucked. Seriously, everything they did wrong in the past few seasons they did wrong in this episode. Hiro and Ando go to India to stop a wedding. WHY? So they could get a fax from Rebel telling them that they have to back to L.A. to save Parkman. They went to India so they could get a fax. Terrible. Sylar and Luke on a buddy roadtrip? Whatever. Claire saving Alex and Aquaboy? Okay, actually not that bad. I like the set up of Claire going on the run and actually having a reason to go on the run. But the episode was quasi-saved by the final moments, where Peter, Mohinder, and Parkman drug HRG and take him away to interrogate him via mind reading in the next episode, which has to be better than this episode was.

-24, Monday: Okay, so I was wrong on the FBI mole. Turns out, it was Hillinger, a.k.a. Billy Walsh from Entourage. He was an early suspect for mole when he was caught logging onto the system to check his wife's flight status; nothing beats a cover story that also happens to be true to throw off the scent of treason. Still though, I insist that the blonde FBI chick will be important by the end of the day. Maybe she'll be the one to blow the whistle on Hillinger. The Chloe-Janis showdown was a little underwhelming; hopefully that gets better as Janis continues to distrust Chloe in the coming episodes. Perhaps in a situation where they're forced to work together.

-Lost, Wednesday: And just like that, the Oceanic 6 is back on the island. It was only a matter of time, and I really glad they didn't drag it out over the length of the season; that would've been stupid. Instead, everyone got on board Ajira Flight 316 from L.A. to Guam and passed over the most likely location of the island, as determined by the Lamppost Station (nice Narnia reference). Loved all the call backs in this episode, from Jack waking up in the jungle to the O6 having to to recreate as best they can the circumstances of the original crash. Hurley with the guitar? Charlie. Sayid in handcuffs escorted by a fed? Kate. Sun with her husband's wedding ring, worrying about her husband? Rose. Ben running onto the plane at the last moment? Hurley. All with Lapidus as the pilot, where he should have been the first time (line of the night went to Frank after he saw all of the O6 sitting in Business Class, "We're not going to Guam, are we?"). I think the seccond best line, and probably the most telling one, came from Kate, when she said to Jack, "We're here, but we're not together" (or something to that effect). That speaks to all the questions that still remain about the O6- why were they they all there on the flight? You knew Jack and Ben would be there, and Sun was pretty much a lock since she's desperate to find Jin. But Kate? What changed her mind? Where's Aaron and why doesn't she want to talk about it? My guess is that Aaron was taken from her and that forced Kate back to the island. Why/how was Hurley there? He seemed pretty content in not going back and not doing anything Ben wanted him to do (he seemed shocked to see Ben on the plane), so what changed his mind? It was clear that Sayid had no intention of going back, so him being under arrest seemed to make sense. But why? And why was he being transported back to Guam? Does it stem from when he was killing people for Ben? Did he even know that they others would be on the flight? And what about the two other people with them in Business Class- the fed with Sayid and the guy from Three Kings (seriously, do you know the actor from anywhere else)? I think they get sent to the island with the O6; is it a case of wrong place wrong time, or are they part of the plan as well? And what about Lapidus? Does he go back too? I hope so, because he's a cool character. As for Jack, Hurley, and Kate seeing Jin pull up in a Dharma bus wearing a Dharma jumpsuit, I think its clear when the O6 have landed. This should be awesome, with plenty of headache inducing time travel goodness.

-Dollhouse, Friday: A much better episode than last week's. In fact, I think it would have been best for the show if they had gone with a 2-hour premiere, showing these two episodes back-to-back on one night. The story would've had made more sense from the start and I think more viewers would be into the show. As it is now, I don't know if enough stuck around after the pilot to see this week's show. By giving a mini history of the Dollhouse and Alpha, and by tying Alpha to Agent Ballard, the series is building a nice serial base from which to work. And as Echo starts to remember things she shouldn't, the series should really start to pick up. I have to say, I'm still excited for this show.

-Battlestar Galactica, Friday: Cylon melodrama! Clearly, this episode was about forcing the idea onto everyone that their society cannot be humans and Cylons but instead simply society. Tigh had the best line when he said that human-human is too weak and Cylon-Cylon is too weak; that division is how all of this started in the first place. I guess the Cylon compound being used to fix Galactica is just a thinly-veiled methaphor for the integration of the whole fleet. I think killing Caprica Six's baby was also done just to further illustrate the point; the only future is the human-Cylon hybrid (a.k.a. Hera), nothing else will work. Adama has come around to the idea of integrating the Cylons, and it appears that Lee and Roslin are coming around as well. But I htink Baltar is right, the fleet as a whole isn't ready. Not yet. Which brings us back to Baltar and his now assult rifle-weilding harem- that can't end well. We'll see, but next week it looks like we'll get some Starbuck answers, which is good seeing as there are only 4 episodes left. Can't hold anything back now.

-Bracket Buster games, Saturday: Praise be to the guy that thought this would be a good idea. Take a bunch of good, mid-major conference teams, pair them up, and give them a chance to show what they can do on a big stage. Paying attention on this day can help you when trying to pick those first round upset come March Madness. This is one of my favorite days of the college basketball year.

-Taking Chance, HBO, Saturday: And now, something a little serious. I saw ads for this a while back, and I didn’t know when it would actually be airing. I'm glad I caught it. If you have a chance to watch it at some point, I suggest you do. When I first heard about the movie, I went and read the original story written by Lt. Col. Michael Strobl (which you can find here- I recommend reading it). I know a Marine that was killed in Afghanistan and its good to know the level of care that was given to him when he returned home. Semper fi.

Know Anyone Who'd Be Up For This?

Funeral Home Now Offering Elder-Purple Casket

The idea of a themed-casket or urn is nothing new, and while I may find it a little off, I have no problem if something like this is included in someone's final wishes. How they wish to go is how they wish to go, be it in a Detroit Tigers urn or an Elder casket. Quite frankly, I'm a little surprised that something like this is just now been made available, especially considering the Elder fan base. I would have thought someone would have thought this up years ago. Which brings me to my favorite part of this article:

"[Funeral Director Terry Deters] noted Elder's deep roots in the community. "Generations of families have proudly gone to this school," Deters said. He's a 1975 graduate of St. Xavier High School. But, his dad and his brothers went to Elder. His son, Taylor, belongs to the class of 2009."

So in a family of Elder grads who run a funeral home just blocks from Elder High School itself, its the one St. X grad that steps up and says, hey, there might be a market for this sort of thing. There's a deeper meaning in that somewhere. I think its that Elder grads are kind of crazy. Yeah, that's it.

That's It, Done With The Snow

I like snow, I really do. I like living in an area where it snows (at least a little bit) every year. Its an important part of the season. It should be cold in the winter with snow and ice; it should be nice and mild in the spring with plenty of rain; the summer should be hot, humid, hazy, and muggy; and the leaves should turn color when its cool and crisp in the fall. Yes, it can all be a pain in the ass, but the changing of the seasons is important.

That being said, I'm done with the fucking snow for this year. Snow is good on the other side of the holiday season, as you're building up toward Christmas and New Years (and possibly even Thanksgiving). On this side, at the end of January? Not so much. Sure, it's supposed to be cold, I can live with that. But 4 inches of snow with more on the way? Please, pitchers and catchers report in a few weeks; I don't need anymore snow.

Now, some random Super Bowl thoughts on this frakkin' snow day:

-Big Arizona Cardinals fan right now. I've never even really like Kurt Warner, but I'm all for him now. Yes, it would be depressing to see the Cardinals win a Super Bowl before the Bengals, but it would be more depressing to see the Steelers win their sixth, and when given the choice, I always root against Pittsburgh.

-I don't think there's anyone in sports I hate more than Hines Ward. I've given this a lot of thought, and I can't think of anyone else. And its not just because he plays for the Steelers; I'm pretty sure I'd hate him if played for the Tampa Bay Storm of the AFL. One tool I use as a barometer in deciding things like this is I try to judge how I'd feel if I found out Player X had suddenly died. Would I feel sad, happy, or neutral? With Ward, I'm pretty sure I'd feel ecstatic. Completely overjoyed. Potentially moved to tears. Does that make me a bad person? Oh well. Fuck him.

-I love Super Bowl Prop bets. If you can think of it, you can bet on it. And I'm not talking about the little things like "which team will score first" or "how long will the first field goal attempt be"; that stuff's junk. I'm talking about manly man bets like "over/under number of food items mentioned by John Madden during the broadcast" and "color of Gatorade dumped on winning coach". Picking those winners takes real skill.

-The Mike Tomlin-Omar Epps thing never gets old. Never. Ever.

-Have to admit, I'm stoked for Bruce Springsteen's halftime performance. I'm a huge Springsteen fan, and I think he's a great choice for this gig. And speaking of The Boss, he's got a new album out today. Working On A Dream, that's just phenomenal (random aside- how the hell did The Wrestler not get nominated for an Academy Award? Insanity.). No, I didn't brave out into the snow today just to buy it; it leaked online about two weeks ago. And that brings me to this question- Springsteen's halftime setlist. I think the recent standard has been 4 songs, so with that in mind, and taking into account the release of the new album, my picks for the setlist (in order) are: Born To Run, Working On A Dream (off the new disc), My Lucky Day (another new track), The Rising. Given the shortness of the playlist, I think its possible he could opt out of playing the relatively mellow Working On A Dream and replace it with something like Radio Nowhere or even something older, like Glory Days. Either way, I think he stays away Born In The USA.

Last football game of the season; that's sad. But the end of football should mean the end of snow, so no more. Baseball's just around the corner, and hope springs eternal. Go Reds. Fuck the Steelers.

As Seen On TV!

If you can use a doorknob, you can read this post. Well, maybe not.

I admit, I have a weird fascination with "as seen on TV" products. I've never actually bought anything directly from TV (something Puddin' can't say- how'd The Perfect Pancake work out?), but I have purchased some products that I've found in other places (in a store or online). All the commercials make sensational claims, and I'm curious to know if they can do any or all of what they say they can do. Now, its easy to dismiss those claims outright (especially when they're being pitched by Billy Mays), but I figure that they all have to work on some level, and I just want to know that is.

So far, I've purchased 3 such "as seen on TV" products. One because I needed it, one because I thought it might work, and one out of sheer curiousity. How well do they work? Let's find out:

What: The Handy Switch
Purchased: Amazon.com
Does it work as advertised: Yes

I bought this one because I needed it. There aren't any convenient light switches in my basement, so a simple wireless switch seemed like a good idea. And it works perfectly. If I had had the need, I would have bought more, but I only needed the one. I'd recommend this for anyone looking to avoid any actual work in installing a light switch, like me.

What: ShamWow
Purchased: Target
Does it work as advertised: Yeah, for the most part

This one was just pure curiosity. How well does it actually work? How absorbent is it really? Well, I just had to find out. The best way for me to describe them is that they aren't really towels; at least, they don't really function like towels. They don't wipe well. In fact, they suck at wiping. Okay, that's not entirely true. When the ShamWow is dry, it'll soak up anything in any manner. But when its wet (or damp), it doesn't wipe up anything. It'll still soak up liquid when wet, but it won't dry anything when wet. Wring it out all you want, it'll leave a small film on whatever surface you're trying to dry. But that's not to say its not useful; as a sponge, its great. I also tried out some of the things they showed in the commerical, just to see if they're true. Drying wet clothes rolled up in a ShamWow? Doesn't work at all. Soaking up liquid from carpet? Seemed to work alright. Its not as effortless as they show, but it was effect enough. I don't know how well it would remove a stainable liquid like cola or wine, and unless Puddin' steps up and volunteers his carpet, I'm not going to find out. Also, when they're completely saturated, they do drip. Overall, they're just really good sponges.

What: Mighty Putty
Purchased: Bed, Bath & Beyond (I was buying my mom a Christmas present)
Does it work as advertised: I think so

First off, if you're keeping score, that's Billy Mays 2, that Vince guy 1. Now, I didn't try and pull a tractor trailer with a chainlink made of Mighty Putty, so I can't vouch for that. But I did use it to hold up some towel racks in my bathrooms, and that worked fine. Would it be able to hold something heavier than a bath towel? Sure. Would it be able to hold 350 pounds like they say in the commercial? I doubt it. I mean, I'm a big guy, and while I'm shy of 350 (thankfully), I don't think it could hold my weight. At least, I wouldn't trust it to. But for small things, its good. I also tired it on a leaking pipe, which seems to have worked. I think. The drip hasn't stopped, but it has slowed. It could be because the putty didn't seal the leak properly, but I think its more a factor of me not knowing exactly where the leak is. I'm going to add some more putty later to get complete coverage around the pipe and see if that does any better. And if not, I've got a ShamWow in place to catch all the drip.

There are probably some more TV products out there that I'll buy at a time later than now. ANd if so, I'll review those as well. But there are two products that I definitely won't be getting: the Snuggie and the Slanket. And I guess in reality, they're really one product. Either way, I hate it. If I ever saw someone "wearing" one of these, I would be forced to punch that person. "Can't use a blanket?" Are you serious? You've got to draw a line somewhere, and I draw it at a blanket with sleeves.

Adventures In Air Travel

Of all the places to experience a medical emergency, I'd have to think that being on an airplane would rank as one of the worst (second only, perhaps, to being on a boat out at sea). Small, confined space, 30,000 feet in the air.... just not a lot of options as to what can be done. I always wondered what would happen if something did occur on a flight. Don't have to anymore.

On my flight back to Cincinnati from San Francisco, an older gentleman (he looked early/mid-60's) sitting three rows in front of me all of a sudden passed out and slumped over in his chair. I have no idea what happened to him (and never did find out), but his wife informed us that it was a condition he had (I think she mentioned it was related to his esophagus) and that he needed to be laid out on his back and he'd come to. Now, when you're someone my size, you're expected to assist in certain tasks. Reaching objects from high places, carrying heavy objects, frightening small children, etc., it all just comes with the territory. So when his wife said he needed to be picked up from his seat and laid in the aisle, I stood up and volunteered my services.

I don't know if he was breathing when I got him out of his chair (everything was happening pretty quickly), but he was definitely unresponsive. Completely out. And within 30 seconds of getting him on his back and elevating his legs, he came to. He was hurting, but he was awake. Now, a few things struck me about this situation. The first was how calm his wife was throughout it all. At no point did she seem out of control, which was a good thing because if she wasn't calm, I doubt anyone else would have been. This wasn't the first time it had occurred, and she knew exactly what needed to happened (she told us that when it did happen the first time, they thought it was a stroke; probably wasn't so calm then).

The second thing that struck me about this situation was the number of medical professionals present on the flight. I'm sure there are statistics and expected averages on these sorts of things, but our flight had two doctors and (at least) two nurses on board. I don't know if that's a lot, but it seemed like a lot. And to be honest, I'm not entirely certain one of the people helping out was a nurse. She was a cute French girl who seemed to have medical knowledge, but because of the noise on the plane and her accent, it was difficult to tell. Maybe she was just helpful because she was cute- I really don't know. As for the doctors on board, they were Johnny-on-the-spot when all this went down. There wasn't all that much for them to do (they took his vitals and sent the info to the cockpit, which I guess is how they determine whether an emergency stop is warranted), and they seemed to be knowledgeable about the man's condition once informed about it. Once they checked him out and determined he was stable, we had to get him out of the aisle and into some seats. And by "we" and mean "me." He'd spend the rest of the flight laying across a row, which again required me to pick him up and move him. It was much easier the second time around because even though he was pretty weak, he was at least conscience.

Finally, the last thing that struck me about this situation was the lady sitting across the aisle from me. She was MILF-ish woman traveling with her two kids (both aged between 8 and 13, I'm guessing) who looked like she was trying to look younger than someone who had two kids aged between 8 and 13. In fact, she looked a lot like Mrs. Ari from Entourage. During the whole situation, it seemed like she was trying to control the scene; she was badgering the flight attendants about the first aid and other medical equipement they had on board (even though none of it was needed) and seemed overly involved in that man's treatment (which amounted to little more than getting water and resting on his back). And she wasn't even one of the medical professionals I mentioned earlier; she was just married to a doctor (who wasn't on this flight). How do I know this? Because she told everyone. And she did so in a tone that seemed to imply that since she was married to a doctor, she had sufficent medical knowledge to help this man. She also mentioned that this was the third straight flight she had been on in which there had been some sort of medical situation (the last flight, she said, a lady had a heart attack and her husband saved her by performing a heart transplant right there on the plane... or something like that; she was talking and no one was really listening to her, she might have exaggerated a bit). I hope never to catch a flight with her on board again, not because of her streak of inflight medical emergencies, but because she was annoying as hell.

I have to say, even though it was a relatively minor situation, there were some tense moments. I guess it just comes with something, anything, going wrong while in the air. And it wasn't without benefit, at least for me. The smoked turkey sandwich and packet of M&M's I bought during the flight ended up being free simply because I helped out. So overall, not a bad deal. My involvement in said situation also lead to a rather odd encounter later, while waiting for my connecting flight.

While I was waiting at the gate in Cincinnati for my connecting flight to Dayton (see previous post for more on that nonsense), which was delayed for an hour because, HELLO!, they didn't have a pilot, I was approached by a girl who had been on the same San Francisco-Cincinnati flight as me and was also waiting to go to Dayton.

Girl: Hey, you were on the flight from San Francisco, right? You helped the guy who passed out?
Me: Uh, yeah, that was me.
Girl: That was crazy. I've never been on a flight were anything like that had happened before. I was kind of hoping for an emergency landing or something.
Me: Man, that would've been nuts. And it would've been okay because since we're still waiting for our damn flight, we wouldn't have missed it.
[more random talk about what happened on the plane and how ludicrous it is to fly from Cincinnati to Dayton]
Girl: Wait, so where do you live?
Me: I live in West Chester, which is just about right in the middle between Cincinnati and Dayton.
Girl: Is that where the Touchdown Jesus is?
Me: [immediately thinks of Notre Dame] Uh, what? [thinks] OH!! You mean the Giant Jesus statue at the Solid Rock Church! Yeah, that's like 20 minutes from where I live.
Girl: Oh, cool. I live in Oakland and I'm here to see the Jesus statue.
Me: [pause] Wait, you flew here just to see the Giant Jesus?
Girl: Oh, no, I've got some friends who live in Dayton, but I'm mainly here to see the statue.
Me: Oh, well then. You, uh, have fun doing that then. The statue's pretty awesome. It'll probably change you're life, just not in that kind of way.

People fly to St. Louis just to see the Arch. Same with Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota. Old Faithful. The Grand Canyon. The Statue of Liberty. These are things in our country that are worth taking time out to go and see. I'm not certain I'm ready to include Big Butter Jesus on that list.

Cincinnati's Airport Is In Dayton

In a few hours, I will be driving up to Dayton so I can catch a flight back down to Cincinnati before heading on to San Francisco. I know that sounds ludicrous, but with how expensive it is to fly directly out of Cincinnati (which has the highest average ticket prices of any airport in the country), it saves me about $300 in airfare. That makes it worth it, especially when you consider that I live about as far from the Dayton airport (just north of the city) as I do from the Cincinnati airport (which is in Northern Kentucky).

But my question is this- who flies from Dayton to Cincinnati for a reason other than to catch another flight going somewhere else? Is anyone really flying just to cover the 50-some miles that separate the two cities? I'm guessing no. So the only people making this flight are people like me- people who want the destinations (and direct flights) out of Cincinnati but who don't want to pay the price to fly out of Cincinnati. Everyone making the 40 minute flight (seriously, a 40 minute flight?) from DAY to CVG is doing so simply to save money because CVG is so damn expensive. And everyone knows this. The people in Dayton know this; I'm sure they welcome the increased business. The people in Cincinnati know this; but they just seem to be standing around with their heads up their assess, watching all the local travellers abandon them for other nearby airports and not doing anything about it.

I wonder how things would have been different if instead of building the Cincinnati airport in Covington, KY, they built it in Monroe or Middletown, OH, or somewhere else in between Cincinnati and Dayton. Instead of having the Greater Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky Airport, we'd have the Cincinnati-Dayton Airport. That could have paved the way to eventually linking the two cities metropolitan areas (kind of like Dallas-Fort Worth, only smaller), which is something that is bandied about everytime people look at how fast Dayton and the areas north of Cincinnati (like West Chester) are growing.

But that didn't happen, which means I'll be stuck making the tedious flight from Dayton to Cincinnati every time I'm looking to fly somewhere. Hopefully CVG does something to lower its airfare, but I'm not holding my breath. To Dayton!

White Death

Flurries dusted the Greater Cincinnati area this morning, so in honor of Jim Borgman:

I get the feeling that its going to be a long winter around here.

Now I'm THAT Guy

I know who I am; I'm "the big Asian guy." I accepted this a long time ago because there was nothing I could do about it. When people meet me, that's typically what they remember, especially people like friends of a friend, people I may run into only once or twice a year. When I see them again, they remember me because I'm "the big Asian guy," and that's it. But last night, I was remembered for something else.

Last night at a friend's house, I ran into one of these friends of a friend who I've only met a couple of times. It had been a while, but I remembered meeting her. When my friend asked if we'd meet before, this friend of a friend answered:

"Yeah, I think we met at New Year's last year. We had a conversation about pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

That's right, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. If I'm not going to be remembered as just "the big Asian guy," I want to be remembered as "the guy who talked to you about pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis." Done and done.

Being Aware Of History As It Happens

A comic by Jim Borgman from back in the summer:

Politics really isn't my forte, so I tend to say out of the conversation. I know what I believe in and I don't really care about your opinion, not because I believe that you are wrong but because I believe differing opinions is the basis upon which this country was founded. The two-party system (or, at least the non-single party) ensures that the minority opinion is always heard, regardless of which party happens to be in the minority (and if that sounds like something out of The West Wing, it is). Now, I get the concept of "unity" and all that, but there's a difference between "falling in line" and "working together." "Working together" is what politicians need to do- accept that they differ in ideology but still work toward a common goal. Now, we all know that rarely happens in Washington, but ideally, that's how it would work. However, I never understood the concept of "falling in line" behind a candidate you don't support. I don't believe you need to support your president just because he (or she, someday) is the President. As a democrat, I never supported President Bush, so why should John McCain's supporters back Barack Obama? Why shouldn't they hold onto their beliefs and stand firm on their issues? They're entitled to their opinions (this is America afterall), and they should stand by them (although, it was a little classless for them to boo Obama during McCain's concession speech, not because they shouldn't boo if they believe it, but because it just makes your candidate look bad). However we may disagree, the minority opinion is important in America (though I'd be lying if I didn't say it feel good to finally be in the majority).

Anyway, I don't want this post to be about politics; I want it to be about the event. For him or against him, its obvious to everyone that the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States of America is historic. Regardless of what happens while he's in office, the event of his election is what will be remembered. And what I mean by that is, Jackie Robinson was an incredible baseball player, but his numbers on the field get shadowed (as they should) by his status as the first African-American player in professional baseball. Him being the Majors is far more important and more widely remembered than any of his stats.

Its rare to live through history and be aware of it as its happening. Many people feel that Tuesday's election will become a "where were you" moment in history, and I tend to agree. Usually, events of such magnitude are tragic, like Pearl Harbor, the assassination of Predident Kennedy, or September 11th, but thankfully that't not always the case. I remember talking to my dad about the Apollo 11 moon landing when I was younger; he was working at a motel in State College, PA that night and he remembers letting himself into an empty room and watching the telecast. I think at the time he told me this story he even remembered what room he was in. Moments like that are too few and far between. But I guess if they happened everyday, they wouldn't be worth remembering.

I'm glad Barack Obama will be the next President of the United States. I'm glad I went down to Nippert Stadium on November 2 to see him speak in person. I'm glad that when I'm older, I'll be able to say that I was alive when America elected a racial minority to the highest office in the land. It makes me proud, both as a minority and as an American. Great day to be alive.

One final note- as a rabid fan of The West Wing, I find the parallels between this campagin season and that of the shows final years simply mind boggling. I'm sure there are websites out there that have driven the comparisons to death, but I am still amused at how life can imitate art, which was imitating life to begin with. Here's hoping that life doesn't imiate art too much and that Joe Biden doesn't suffer a massive heart attack between now and Inaguration Day. Though if John McCain is named Secretary of State, I might start to get concerned.

Election Day

A classic scene from The West Wing for Election Day:



I voted first thing this morning, before I went into work. I was hoping to avoid the long lines and mass chaos that's sure to ensue as we get later in day, and I think I did. I showed up at my polling place at 6:40 (polls opened at 6:30), and there were a fair number of people there, but not an outrageous number. I was inside by 6:50, voting just after 7:10, and out the door by 7:15. Thirty-five minutes, not that bad in my book. The only issue I had was with the parking. I voted at an elementary school, as I'm sure many people do, and there just isn't enough parking associated with an elementary school to handle election day traffic. People get pretty dumb when they are forced to start making up their own parking spaces; I'm surprised there weren't any accidents while I was there.

Anyway, go vote.

Of Wahoos And Hokies

Stranger: How you doing?
Dana: I don't believe this.
Stranger: It's me again.
Dana: This is pretty weird.
Stranger: Yeah.
Dana: I mean, I don't know if I'm comfortable with this.
Stranger: With what?
Dana: Every time I've been in here in the last three days you've been in here, so I'm saying I'm not comfortable with it.
Stranger: You've been in here every time I've been in here in the past three days... yet I remained unconcerned.

(The triumphant return of the Sports Night quote! Probably won't last for long, though.)

I don't know what it is , but I run into Hokies everywhere. I'm amazed at the number of times where I've randomly run into a Virginia Tech alum or fan somewhere outside of the state of Virginia. It always just seem to be that a couple times a year, the person next to me in line or sitting a few seats away will be a Hokie. And one way or another, words are always exchanged (through casual conversation), so its acknowledged what our alma maters are. A few notable examples:

-Camden Yards, Fall 2001: Honester Ciphers and I go to Baltimore for Cal Ripken, Jr.'s final games. Game 1 of a doubleheader, we're sitting in the left field upper deck and the people sitting nearest to us have a son attending Tech. While in line to reenter the stadium for Game 2 of the doubleheader, the guy right behind us in line is a Tech grad (I think he was wearing his class ring to prove it, too).

-Princeton Bowl, Fall 2007: The Cincinnati Home Builders Association is sponsoring a bowling event for companies associated with residential construction. I'm there with people from my company and from the people in the next lane over, I hear one girl as another, "So what exactly is a Hokie?" Turn out, one of the people there with that company was a Tech grad (oh, and as any good Wahoo would do, I answered the above question with, "A Hokie's a castrated turkey;" she wasn't amused).

-Oktoberfest, Saturday: I get in line to purchase some Red Leg Ale from the Barrelhouse and the lady right in front of me has on a shirt that has"What is a Hokie?" on the front and lyrics to some song (perhaps Tech's fight song) on the back. Again, I answer aloud, "A Hokie's a castrated turkey." And again, not amused.

I'm always shocked when I randomly encountered a Virginia Tech grad (or another Virginia grad, for that matter), especially out here in Cincinnati. I think to myself, "Man, how random is it that the person right next to me graduated from the one school I despise above all others? How crazy is that?" And then I think, "Well, how random do they think it is that they happen to be standing next to a UVA grad? Are they as intrigued by this random occurrence as I am?"

I find these meetings odd. Not odd in the way that there wouldn't graduates of these schools spread out across the country and across the world, just odd in that I happen to run into them. Its just a little weird, I don't really like it, and the exchange is always kind of awkward. But that could be because I keep referring to their mascot as a castrated turkey. I sense they don't like that too much. Truth hurts.

Our Lady Of Blessed Electricity

Awesome: I got power back at my house yesterday afternoon, sometime around 3 or 4 pm, putting my power outage at just over 24 hours.

Suck: I have no service from Time Warner, which means no television, no internet (thankfully things are back up at work).

One step forward, two steps back.

A Mighty Wind

Holy shit, that was some crazy wind yesterday (and it wasn't exactly blowin' peace and freedom). In total, I've lived nearly 17 years in the Cincinnati area, and I can't ever recall a "storm" like the one we had on Sunday. It was just wind. No rain or other precipitation, no thunder and lightning, no cyclonic formations. Only wind gusts of upwards of 50+ miles an hour. And that shit knocked out power to a huge chunk of the city (myself included- I'm currently sitting in a cafe downtown because there's nothing close to my house with power and wifi).

The lack of other weather factors really screwed me in terms of preparing and dealing with my current no-power situation. I mean, its tough to make "severe weather" preparations when its sunny and 80+ degrees outside. Sure, trees are bending at right angles and patio furniture is flying by the window- there's no real threat, we're still good.

Yeah, not so much.

I been without power since about 2 pm Sunday afternoon. The estamites I've heard for power being restored in my area range from 2 to 5 days. Lovely. I bet that half gallon of milk in my fridge tastes pretty good right now. My office doesn't have any power, either, so this morning it was either sit in the dark and do nothing at home or sit in the dark and do nothing at work (I was at "work" for 2 hours before we decided to call it a day). I drove around a little last night to see what was still open (and because I had to charge my phone), and God help me if I have to buy gas today. I bet it was something like 9 out of 10 gas stations I drove past were closed, and the 1 out of 10 that was open had a line at least 15 cars deep. I saw that a Chipotle was open and thought I might be able to get something to eat, but there had to have been 400 people in there. It was insane (same went for any eatery that was open, which was why I ended up getting something from UDF).

I have no idea what I'm going to do the rest of the day ('cause there's no way I'm sitting here all day). Maybe I'll just drive around and look for places that are still open. Problem there is that I'll eventually have to buy gas. Fuck.