There's Something Wrong With My New Robe

Perhaps that's because its not a robe, but a Snuggie. Yes, a goddamn Snuggie. I swore I'd never buy one, so clearly that was the go-sign for my brother to get me one for my birthday. Thanks, bro (and actually, I'm kinda pissed I didn't think of it first and gotten one for him on his birthday).

As I've previously stated, I would never have purchased such an item on my own volition. There are products that are wacky but also kind of serve a purpose, and there are products that exist solely because they can; this abomination is the latter. However, since I ended up with one anyway, I feel obligated to give it a review.

What: A fucking Snuggie
Purchased: I didn't, it was a gift, so to speak
Does it work as advertised: Uh, yeah.

The question here isn't whether or not it works; of course it works, it's a blanket with sleeves in it and it works like a blanket with sleeves in it. The thing is, my other blankets- you know, the ones without sleeves- work just as well. But in the interest of equal time, I suffered through the Snuggie last night while I watched television (aside: the weekly reviews have stopped, since we're nearing the end of the television season, and I'll be doing a big recap post once all the shows have finished for the season and know whether they've been renewed for next season; I know you all really care about that). It was almost unbearable.

First off, you can't help be feel ridiculous while wearing it. Blankets aren't supposed to be something you wear. Eventhough I was alone and all the blinds were shut, I could feel the world laughing at me. This was not a pleasent feeling.

Second, this thing is waaaaay to fucking big for a regular sized (or smaller) person. I know this because it fits me (like a robe) almost perfectly. Short people (ie- everyone else, as far as I'm concerned) would have a hell of a time "using" this damned thing. The sleeves are insanely wide, in so much as they might as well be pant legs. Yeah, you can still use your hands and move your arms, but there's so much material there, it just gets in the way. So you roll up the material to free you hands, which leaves you with a unwieldy mass of material, and at that point, you might as well take your hands out of the sleeves altogether, which, of course, would defeat the whole purpose.

So anyway, as expected, I'm not impressed. Its a product that exists because someone thought of it, and not because its actually useful. That said, I am glad that I own a Snuggie now so that I can wear it a random and inappropriate times to garner a cheap laugh. But as for regular, daily use, I'll stick with blanket 1.0. No need for the so-called upgrade.