You Mean Like Spiders On The Field, Coach?

As I've stated numerous times on this blog, I love college football. Given a choice between college and pro, I'd take college even time. The crowd, the atmosphere, the students, and passion- there's not much that could make college football better. Well, there's one thing- get rid of mascots.

I hate mascots. I don't know what it is, but I can't stand them (which is kind of shame, because while I was UVA, I knew the guy that was our mascot, and he was cool as hell). All guys in big ridiculous foam suits have to go; get rid of them all. Instead, I think every school should have the actual, live, incarnation of their mascot on the sidelines for their games.

A lots been made this year about Uga VII, the new bulldog down at Georgia. While I think sometimes too much can be made of it (like each dog's win-loss record), I love the fact that the Bulldogs have a bulldog on the sidelines. I love that Texas has Bevo, and that Colorado has Ralphie (and that they're crazy enough to run along side her before the game). I am all about this. And it extends beyond just animal mascots, too. Take Notre Dame. While I hate Notre Dame, I like the fact that they have someone dressed up as a leprechaun as opposed to someone in a giant foam suit of a leprechaun. Same for Florida State and USC. Ditch the foam suits, and get the real thing (or as close to real as you can). I think it would add something to the atmosphere of the game if people could see the actual mascot of their school on the sidelines.

When I had this conversation with my brother (BrotherofGiantAsianMan) a few weeks ago, he asked a good question- what about The University of Richmond? After all, they are the Spiders. What would 1 spider do? But then I thought, why just 1 spider? What if you rolled out a huge cage full of thousands of spiders onto the sidelines? Lots of people are scared of spiders (including the majority of the Washington Sentinels)- it'd be wild to see a couple hundred thousand spiders right there on the field. You'd probably mess with a lot of heads as well.

So I support the inclusion of more live mascots into college football. When UCLA plays Cal, you'd get to see two huge bears roaming the sidelines. It'd force Indiana and Oklahoma to fully explain what a "Hoosier" or a "Sooner" is (and if they wanted to go with the "its someone from the state" explanation, they'd have have to commit to it by just having some random people on the sidelines). If Virginia Tech wants to be a turkey, then damnit, they need to have a turkey on the sidelines. Stanford? Bring in a live tree (though, they're probably crazy enough to do just that). Ohio State? Live with it, you're a nut. Sure, they'd be a lot of tigers and wildcats (whatever the hell that exactly is), but you'd also get a lot of variety (beavers, badgers, anteaters, alligators, pirates- man, if only there was a school that had Ninjas as a mascot... Pirates vs. Ninjas....). Some schools (like Alabama, Tulane, Syracuse) would have to get creative, but they could make it work. I think this needs to happen. That way, you could actually be scared of spiders on the field.