A Taste of Cincinnati

People that know me know that I often rave about the food here in Cincinnati. I still think the underlying subconscious reason I moved back here was for the food. And I've often been asked by non-Cincinnatians where they should eat if they happen to find themselves in Cincinnati.

(Okay, that's not true; no one's ever asked me that. But not because they're not interested in the food here, but because they don't ever envision themselves passing through Cincinnati.)

So, you're here in Cincinnati, where do you eat? These are the places you have to go to, and not in a "best reviewed cuisine" kind of way. The restaurants I'm talking about here are the ones that are purely Cincinnati, the places and dishes that define the area.

-Breakfast-
Place: Price Hill Chili
Location: There's only one, its on the west site
Dish: Goetta
Why: Price Hill Chili is a sacred place on the west side. And that's saying something considering that there's a church every two blocks in that part of town. Its the best place to get breakfast in the city, and the best for breakfast is goetta. I don't know what goetta is. There are people here to claim to know; I think they're lying. All I do know is that it's good (but its not Good, with a capital "G"; that's something different all together). Something like 99% of all the Goetta in the country is produced and eaten in Cincinnati. If that doesn't say "Cincinnati food," I don't know what does.

-Lunch-
Place: Skyline Chili
Location: Various around the city, but for local flavor, hit the one in Clifton
Dish: Cheese coney and/or 3-way
Why: Cincinnati is famous for one food, and that's our chili. Anytime anyone comes to Cincinnati and does a profile on the food here (I'm thinking specifically about football games, college and pro), they talk about the chili. And don't be like my dad the first time he ate at Skyline- you don't get this chili in a bowl. You get in on a hotdog or over spaghetti. With cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. If they offer you a bib, wear it. Chili stains are tough to get out.

-Mid-day Snack-
Place: Greater's Ice Cream
Location: Various, just pick one
Dish: Something with chocolate chips
Why: If you like ice cream (and really, who doesn't), you'll love Greater's. The chocolate chips are massive. Its awesome. If you're in the mood for soft serve ice cream, you've got to make the trek up to West Chester and get an orange-vanilla swirl from the Cone. Its the building shaped like an ice cream cone. You should also try and stop at a UDF (that's United Dairy Farmers, for the uninitiated) and pick up some Busken cookies. They'll probably have a smiley face on them.

-Dinner-
Place: Montgomery Inn
Location: The boathouse is nice, but you've got to go to the original in Montgomery
Dish: Ribs
Why: Bob Hope loved Montgomery Inn. That's pretty much good enough for me. Seriously though, the secret is all in the sauce. You can pour it on anything and it'll taste good. Another place you're going to want to wear the bib. And just order the ribs. If you order something else, someone in your party will order ribs, you'll have a taste, and then wish you'd ordered the ribs. So save yourself the trouble, get the ribs (with the side of Saratoga chips).

-Late Night-
Place: LaRosa's Pizza
Location: Wherever you happen to be, get it delivered (bonus points if you're in a bowling alley)
Dish: Pizza
Why: This is Cincinnati's pizza chain. You really can't go wrong with any of the pizza's here. But if its on the menu, you have to get the Montgomery Inn topper; if you've followed the plan up until now, you'll know why. And order more than you think you'll eat that night so you have leftovers in the morning. This may be weird to say, but LaRosa's is the best cold pizza there is.

So there it is. A one-day culinary tour of the Queen City, spotlighting the very essence of Cincinnati.